Monday, September 7, 2009

Homemade Nine-Layer Nasty

Take original plank flooring and cover with quality hardwood flooring that has timeless beauty and will delight your descendants for generations to come.
Sprinkle liberally with termites and cover with cheap vinyl flooring.
Add a layer of mystery cardboard-like material and a thin skim coat of concrete.
Add another layer of cheap vinyl flooring.
Incorrectly install one leaky toilet.
Do not change the wax ring. Ever.
Let simmer for thirty years.
Remove with a crowbar only when crumbly. If it comes off in nice clean sheets, it's not ready yet.
Serve to all your friends who have ever remodeled an old home. Toast 100 years of former owners with a rousing chorus of "What Were These People Thinking?"

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